Cinderella #248 "Perfectly Perfect" (Russian)

 Ok, this is so perfect! Early childhood experiences with European fairy tales have certainly swayed me, but Disney is sweeter in Russian, for sure!

Cinderella #247 The KIng of Spain and the English Milord

Cinderella #247

Hark, hark, the dogs do bark!

One upon a time, "a king said to his son on his 18^th birthday,'Time is going by, old age is drawing nigh. Why don't you take a wife? If we die, who will inherit the kingdom?" And he insisted that his son take a wife immediately. The prince did not want to marry so soon, and replied,"Father, please understand I will marry only when I've found a girl as white as ricotta and rosy as a rose." So the king ordered his royal portrait painters to scour the kingdom for such maidens, and paint their portraits. In one year's time, they were to return to court so that the prince could choose his bride. And "one of these grandees went to Spain, where where the first thing he did was stop and talk with a chemist." When that man understood what the search was for, he said that he knew such a maiden. However, it would be difficult to see her, for she was a shielded fine lady. Then the chemist ran to a lady he knew, and begged him to present her to the portrati painter. He told her,"If you allow him to paint it, you will be paid forty gold crowns." So the portrait was painted, and the fee paid. Then the portrait was carried back to the palace, for the year was now over. There the prince examined them carefully. Then he stopped right in front of the Spanish maiden's likeness and said,"If the face itself is like the portrait, it is truly a perfect face." He sent for the maiden, who came, but only after she had "spent four months at a palace learning to be a queen". When she got to the palace and married the prince, the queen really took a liking to her. In fact, "she and her mother-in-law got along together like a pair of pigeons. a rarity, since mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have quarreled from the beginning of time. Yet Beezelbub, as you know, is always on the look-out for a way in", and now he nagged the queen into criticizing her daughter-in-law for never going out on the balcony. So the girl went out, and "at that instant, an English milord happened by" and saw the princess, and fell in love with her. Knowing that this was impossible, the young man's health failed. One day, as he pined for the princess in the road by the palace, an old woman stopped to speak with him. She asked him kindly what his trouble was, and he rudely replied,"Be off with you, it's  none of your business." But the old one will not budge, and at last, the milord tells her that he longs to see the princess. The old woman says that she can arrange this, if only the man will provide her with a diamond ring to carry to the princess. So the milord buys one, and gives it to the granny. Who promptly enters the palace and sells it to the princess for 300 crowns. Then she pockets the gold and tells the milord that the princess accepted the ring and will send word in 10 days. But 10 days later, when she appears to meet the milord, she requests a valuable necklace for the princess, and then a gown. All are sold to the princess, and the old woman stows a cool one thousand five hundred crowns "in her coffers". She then tells the princess that a grand ball is to be held, and that she will be the most fashionable of all if she wears the dress, necklace and ring. Then she goes back to the young lord. and  suggests that he host a grand ball, saying that the princess has agreed to speak to him then. So the lord does, but the princess doesn't. And from there, events take a series of dramatic turns, including: the prince disguised as a peasant; the wrath of the prince when he finds out his princess has played him false; a shipwreck, in which the princess is cast upon an island, and not killed after all, as ordered. She is subsequently employmed as a paralegal.( For real. see:Calvino, p.573)The captain of the ship that left the princess on an island kills a dog instead, and gives its tongue to the prince as proof of his wife's death. At last, the truth comes out, and the prince sends for the old woman. He says to her,"Tell me, good old woman, about those sales of yours to the princess?' And the old biddy unbosomed herself." But she declared that the princess was innocent, as she had neither sent nor received any messages, merely bought costly items from the old woman. She was guilty of vanity, nothing more.  So the prince forgave her, and "the two captains — the one who killed a dog instead of a princess, and the one who rescued her and took her to Brazil — were elevated to the rank of court grandees. And all the sailors were awarded pom-pons for their berets."

From: Calvino, I. (1953) Italian Folktales, Selected and Retold

Notes: This story is from the city of Palermo, Italy. 

Cinderella #246 Bride From the Sea

"To his delight,
he discovered a large fish
in the net." Illustration by
Hemkunt Press

Once upon a time, in India, "a fisherman named Singaram once lived in a small hut, close by the sea."At dawn every day, he would push his small boat out onto the waves and spend the day fishing. One day, though he had baited his line again and again, he could not catch a single fish. Just as the sun was setting, he "discovered a large fish in the net, of a kind he had never seen before." It was nearly as big as he, and colored a rich, rosy red. Most surprising of all was that it spoke, saying, "Kind Sir, if you do take me home, please do not cook me for your dinner. For I can be of use to you." Then the fish told the man that he could take care of the man's cow. The man was quite surprised that the fish even knew he had a cow, let alone that his young cowherd had not presented himself in several days. "Thus, Singaram was only too pleased to accept the fish's offer though he wondered how a fish would lead a cow out to graze." But as he rowed closer to shore, the fish began to shrink. As they stepped onto the sand, the fish was small enough to fit into Singaram's palm. He took it home and showed his family, who marveled at the little red fish. When Singaram put it onto the back of the cow, and "he was surprised to see that the fish began to give the cow instructions  and the cow listened." So the fish proved its worth. This life went on for quite some time, until, one day, "the cow went further into the forest than usual," found some especially tasty grass, and ignored the fish's orders to go home. Unfortunately for the cow, the man appeared just then, and began beating it with a stick. That's when the fish called  out, "Oh man, do not touch me, or else I will kill you in a matter or moments." At this, the man thought his cow had begun to speak, and trembled in fear. So the fish took advantage of the foolish man, and brought the cow to graze in his best garden every day. And since the cow now fattened itself on the sweetest herbs, its milk began to run rich and strong. Soon it "supplied Singaram with milk by the bucketful." He sold this, and made lots of money. In fact, he made so much money that he built himself a fine, large home. Here he raised his son, who "grew up to become a handsome young man." His father realized that it was time to find "a suitable match" for him, and so he "searched and searched". But none could be found. He lamented about this one night at home. That's when the fish said,"Why do you search for a bride so far away? There's a suitable bride living under your roof in only you care to look!" And that is when "the fish changed into a beautiful young girl." She said,"I am not really a fish.", then told him of the curse she was under. It had been partially broken now that she had been chosen as a bride. She confided in her father-in-law-to-be," I can be a woman by day, but at night I will have to return to my fish form." So the man married his son to the girl who had been a fish. They lived happily together, but the groom very much wished that his bride was a woman at night, and not a fish. So he observed her routine, and learned that "she would take a bath in the sea before turning into a fish. Every night she would carry her fish skin with her. She would leave it on the shore, have her bath, then return to slip into it and become a fish." Now the young man snatched the fish skin, and ran home. There he tossed it into the fire, where it "burnt itself to ashes in a manner of minutes." Just then, his wife came back from the sea, "looking more  beautiful than ever, dressed in a gorgeous silk sari." The spell was broken, and they lived happily as man and wife for the rest of their lives. 

From: Fairy Tales from India (Hemkunt,1996)

Cinderella #245 Maid Maleen (Grimm)

The moon, according
to NASA. 

Once upon a time, in what would later become Germany, there lived "a king who had a son, and his son wished to wed the daughter of a powerful king." The girl he loved was named Maid Maleen, and she was a renowned beauty. But her father, the powerful king, had already chosen a match he considered more advantageous. He refused to give his son permission to marry Maid Maleen. So Maleen told her father "I cannot and will not accept anyone else as my husband."  Those words so angered her father that he "became furious and ordered a dark tower to be built that prevented the rays of the sun and the moon from penetrating its walls." Then he threw his daughter into it, with food enough to last for seven years, and sealed the entry. The time passed slowly for Maid Maleen and her handmaid. They learned to gauge time by the dwindling store of food, and, when it was nearly gone, they knew that the seven years were drawing to an end. But no one came to rescue them. At last, Maild Maleen said to her handmaid,"We have just one last resort. We must see if we can break through the wall." So they took it in turns to pick at the mortar, and soon had loosened a series of stones. When the hole was big enough, they climbed out. Then they understood why no one had come for them: the kingdom "lay in ruins, the city and villages, as far as they could see, had been burned to the ground, the fields had been destroyed. Not a soul could be seen." A search for food brought only wild nettles and bitter berries. At last, the two maidens begged at a nearby castle. "There, they were told to move on, until the cook came and said they could work in the kitchen as cinderellas. The son of the king in whose realm they were now living was none other than the former betrothed of Maid Maleen." He had a new betrothed, chosen for him by his father. She "had a face as ugly as sin, and her heart was just as wicked." She was kept hidden away until the day of the wedding, at which time she still dreaded to show her face. So she instructed her maids to find a servant to wear the wedding gown, and walk in her place. They brought up Maid Maleen from the scullery, and the bride to be ordered her to wear the gown. Maid Maleen refused. The wicked princess ordered her a second time; she refused again. Now the wicked princess declared that she would have the girl's head chopped off if she did not comply. So Maid Maleen had no choice but to obey. But when the prince saw her, he thought to himself,"She looks just like my Maid Maleen; I'd swear it was really her, but I'm sure she's a prisoner in the tower, or she's dead." So he took the maiden by the hand and started along the path to church. That's when Maid Maleen sang out," Nettle bush, nettle bush, so small and so bear, why are you now standing there? There was a time, you know, when I ate you raw, you know, raw and rough." And the prince wondered what this meant. They went on, and soon came to a footbridge. Now the girl in the wedding gown called out," Footbridge, please don't break or chide, for I'll gladly admit I'm not his true bride." Rather, she said, that honor should go to Maid Maleen. The prince asked what this meant, but the girl said nothing. When they got to the church door, the girl in the gown chanted again that she was not "his true bride". The prince ignored this, and placed a heavy necklace of gems around his bride's neck. Then they went into church where "the priest clasped their hands in wedlock". Now the bride left the prince and ran to the chamber of the real bride. They quickly exchanged clothes. But Maid Maleen kept the necklace hidden. Then the real bride put on a veil to cover her ugly face, and went to the prince. That's when he asked her why she had spoken that way to a nettle bush. She denied having said a word to the bush, but soon realized that her double had deceived her. She ran and asked what she had said, then repeated the rhyme to the prince. His confusion only deepened, so he asked why she had spoken to the draw bridge. Again she tried to deny that she had done so, and again, realized her mistake. She ran to Maid Maleen, learned the rhyme, and spoke it for the prince. But now he demanded to know what she had said at the church door. When she could not repeat it, he insisted that she show him the necklace. And since she was ignorant of rhyme and jewelry, he declared,"If you don't know this, then you're not my true bride." But she told him,"I'm the bride you were to marry but I was afraid that the people would have mocked me when they saw me on the streets. So I commanded the cinderella to put on my clothes and go to church in my place." Then they sent for Maid Maleen, and the false bride told the servants "that the kitchen cinderella was a cheat and that they were to chop off her head." Maid Maleen screamed so loud that "that the prince heard her voice". Of course, he came and set her free. Then he called for a light, and that is when he saw "the golden necklace around her neck that he had given her at the church door." so he knew that she was his lawfully wedded wife. He drew her into his chambers and asked her why she had mentioned Maid Maleen earlier. That's when she told him,"I am Maid Maleen. For seven years, on your account, I was a prisoner in darkness and suffered hunger and thirst. Then I lived for a long time in need and poverty. But today the sun is shining on me once again, "So they "kissed each other and were happy for the rest of their lives." As for the ugly princess, "as payment for her actions...she had her head chopped off." And the tower that had held Maid Maleen captive remained for many, many years. The children who lived near chanted as they passed the ruins,"Cling, clang, clum, who's sitting there alone and glum? The princess sits without a key, the princess I can't see. The walls are thick and will not break, the stones won't move, for heaven's sake. Come, little Hans, with your coat so gay, come follow me this very day. 

From, The Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm (1812/2003) Ed.: Zipes p. 574 

Notes: Again with the seclusion in the dark where the sun don't shine...this time in a tower instead of below the ground, but still. Good for Maleen for breaking out, though she went a bit overboard on telling the truth, I think. Come on. You don't have to sing to every bush and bridge, admitting that you're false. 

Cinderella #244 Jim Henson's Hey Cinderella Part 1

Notes: I am a longtime Muppet fan, and always adore the interaction between man and muppet that Jim Henson created. Oh, for the days of the original Sesame Street! (C is for cookie, and that's good enough for me...)

Cinderella #243 Little Melon

"Good morning, Brother Wolf!"
sang out Little Melon. 

Once upon a time, in India, "there was an old farmer and his wife. They lived in a village. They had no children. This often made them feel sad and lonely." One day, while the farmer's wife was out picking cotton, she "saw a beautiful yellow melon growing wild on a creeper". Never had she seen such a lovely melon, "so pretty and round". But when she had picked it, she saw that it was not unblemished. In fact, "there were some holes and marks on it, which made it look like the face of a man."Still, she was sure that the melon would be sweet and tasty, so she took it home. When she got home, she cooked breakfast, making "eight big pancakes (chappatis). [Then] she tied them up in a piece of cloth, filled an earthen pot with whey and put a big pat of butter in it." This was to be the farmer's breakfast. Now she lamented, thinking of the long walk to the field and back again, saying aloud that she wished she had a sturdy child to help her. That's when she heard a voice! It said,"Mother! I will carry the breakfast for my father. Give me the bundle." So the woman put the pancakes and butter on top of her melon-child's head, and sent him off to her husband. Now the little melon "skipped out of the doorway into the narrow street outside. He skipped on and on and was soon out of sight." When he got to the field, he called out,"Father!" in "a voice loud and long". The farmer was very perplexed and said to himself,"It may have been the crow sitting up there on the neem tree or perhaps a jackal howling among the bushes yonder. I never had a son. Who could address me as father?" So he resumed ploughing. But here came a little melon, "with the pot of whey and pancakes balanced on its head and dancing on the edge of the field". When the farmer saw him he he thanked him for the food, but said that he must "take the bullocks to the stream to drink water." Now the melon offered to do this, and the man said,"Can you do that, Melon? You are so small and helpless!" But the melon was sure that he could manage, and off he went. Alas, the little melon soon was kicked off the path by the bullocks and landed in the stream. "Poor Mr. Melon was being carried helplessly along by the current." As luck would have it, he was snagged on a tree branch. He "struggled out of the water onto the dry land and was once again in high spirits." But when he asked the passersby if any had seen his bullocks they said, "Why Little Melon, your bullocks strayed into the field, and began eating the green corn." They had been put into the King's cattle pound. Now brave Little Melon "made himself a little chariot from leaves and dried twigs. He harnessed field mice" to it, and set off for the king's palace. He sang, "I made a chariot out of twigs and leaves, asked the mice to serve as steeds, fast my chariot go along, over the hill and down the vale with a merry song!" Soon he passed a wild cat who asked him where he was going. But for reply Little Melon only sang out," "I made a chariot out of twigs and leaves, asked the mice to serve as steeds, fast my chariot go along, over the hill and down the vale with a merry song!" And the cat said, "Will you not take me with you, Mr. Melon?" And jumped up onto the chariot. Soon a wolf jumped out into the path, and asked, "What is all this hurry about?" The melon called out, "Good morning, Brother Wolf!" and then sang his song. The wolf begged to be taken along, saying that he might be of help, so the melon said, "Get into my ear, Brother Wolf!" So he did, and they went rolling along. Soon they passed a fire, and it too called out in greeting. "Good morning, Brother Fire!" answered the melon, and then he sang his song. And the fire begged to come along, saying perhaps it would be useful. The melon welcomed it, so "the fire gathered itself together and went down into the ear of Little Melon".  Before long, they were at the palace gate. The sentries were "astonished to see a melon in a strange chariot made of leaves and drawn by mice". Taking advantage of their surprise, Little Melon charged past. Coming upon the king he cried out,"KIng! King! Give me back my bullocks!" But the king only burst out laughing and ordered his soldiers to "Take the naughty fellow away, and shut him in the hens' coop." So this was done. And when the hens came at him, Little Melon yelled, "Fee faw, fig and fern, get out cat, it is thy turn!" So the cat jumped out and killed the hens. When the soldiers opened the coop in the morning, Little Melon jumped out and taunted the king. So the king ordered him thrown into the sheep's pen. " He will make a tasty meal for them." he said. But Little Melon only chanted, "Fee faw, fig and fern, get out wolf, it is thy turn!" and that was the end of the sheep. Once more, Little Melon ran out and taunted the king, who now ordered him shut up "in the vault under the palace". Once he was there, Little Melon chanted, "Fee faw, fig and fern, get out Fire! It is your turn!" And soon the whole palace floor was on fire. Now Little Melon rushed into the King's bedroom, and woke up his majesty, and his queen. They "ran out of their bedroom dressed in their night gowns", and Little Melon shouted, "Good evening, your majesty. Did I not warn you that I would come to get my bullcoks?" And the king begged the melon to call off the fire, saying that he was welcome to his bullocks back. But Little Melon said,  "Not so soon, your highness. I will accept nothing less than the hand of the princess." So the king had to agree to this. As soon as the Queen spoke her agreement, "the fire retreated. The melon burst open with a loud bang, and out came a handsome young man, richly dressed in beautiful clothes. 'I was a prince.' said the young man, bowing low, 'A witch had turned me into a melon." The only way to break the spell was for someone to agree to let their daughter marry the round fruit. So "the prince and princess were soon married and there were great rejoicings all over the country for many days. The prince did not forget to call on the old woman and the poor farmer. He loaded them with gold and silver, and had a new house built for them in their village." 

From Fairy Tales from India (1996) New Delhi: Helmkunt PressFairy Tales from India or try The Ocean of Story: Fairy Tales from India

Notes: I love that this is another carriage from large orange fruit, pulled by a team of mice! Though this has some very unique elements, it is most definitely a Cinderella story! You cannot deny the melon/pumpkin connection, the nothing-to-something special trajectory of the hero, (wow, going from a melon to marrying the King's son!) or the animal helpers. 

Cinderella #242: Kraake Lange

Baba Yaga, by Haviland, V.
If Kraake Lange and Baba Yaga
had a smack-down,
 who would win?

Once upon a time, in Finland, there lived "a widower and his daughter,who sink through a little hill to the sorceress, Kraake Lange". To the girl's dismay, her father marries the sorceress, who has a daughter of her own. Soon, Kraake Lange begins ordering the girl about, forcing her to do all of the hardest work. She makes her tend the cows in the field all day long, but does not send any food for the child to eat. That is why the sorceress is so surprised that "the less food she gives her, the better she seems nourished." So she decides to "gives her daughter a couple of magic eyes to put into her neck, and sends her to spy" on her step-sister. That is how the sorceress discovers that her step-daughter is eating food from "the ear of an ox". So she lays plans to kill that ox, and has a "pitfall made in the road". But the ox has heard the sorceress and so understands what it to come. He "drives the cows into the trap and they are killed. Then he says to the heroine, "One of us must die; better I than you. When I am dead, take and bury my bones, walk over my grave, wish for three things, and you shall get them." So the girl watched while the sorceress killed the ox. Then she followed the directions the ox had given her, very carefully. She wished for "a horse, a saddle, and three dresses — a poor one, a middling one, and a very lovely one." She receives these. Months pass and summer comes. Now the girl is ordered to "spin hard" while the rest go to church. She puts on the "poorest dress", goes to church, and meets the prince. When the service ends, she rushes out to her horse and mounts. Now "a young man accosts her and asks her to follow him home". She "lets her whip drop;he springs from his horse to pick it up, and she too, dismounts." As soon as she steps foot on the ground, however, she makes a wish: that she is home again, behind the oven". POOF! There she is, at home, comfy and warm behind the oven. It turns out that her poor old dress has the power of granting wishes! The following Sunday, the girl goes to church wearing her middling dress. And when the young man tries to speak with her, "she lets her golden shoe drop,and the young man gets it, and keeps it."He searches all over for the maiden who can wear that golden shoe, and "at last, comes to a little hill whence issues [the] agreeable smell of cooking".  Now the young man "sinks down and comes to Kraake Lange. Neither she nor her daughter can get the shoe on", but it slips onto the young girl's foot quite easily. And that is how the young man discovers that the maiden is none other than his long lost sister! Since he is currently serving as one of the King's Men, he tells the King of his sister's great beauty, and "the King wants to see her".  When the maiden and her brother present themselves at the castle, the King accepts her as his bride." They are married and the girl lives happily as the new Queen,  with her beloved brother nearby. 

From Cox, M. R. (1893/2011) p. 397

Notes: It just goes to show the importance of paying attention,and then following the directions. What if the maiden muddled the directions from the ox, and walked once around the grave, or only twice? Couldn't have had the horse and the saddle and the three dresses, now, could she? For more Finnish fun, read Finn Family Moomintroll

Cinderella #241 The Girl With the Louse-Skin Cloak (1878)

Nine dolls from Russia (1950's)
and the Slovak Republic (2008)

Once upon a time, in Russia,  there lived a young girl who had no one to look out for her. Her mother had died many years earlier. One day, at supper with her father, who was the king, she had a terrible surprise. HIs majesty gazed fondly at his daughter, and his eyes glazed over with memory. Mistaking his own daughter for his wife in her maiden years, he declared that he would marry her.  With no advocate to guide her, the girl herself attempting to delay her father's advances. She would marry him, she said, if he got her a dress made of finest copper thread. Within moments, the king found one for her. Next she said that if only she had a dress made entirely of silver, she would be ready to marry. In the morning, the dress of silver was by her bed. Now she told her father that to  honor him properly, she would need a dress of gold. Before the sun had set he presented her with the dress. She thanked him prettily, then said that she had just one more request. Could he get for her a cloak made entirely of the silvery skins of lice? If he could bring her this she told him, at last she would be ready for the marriage. For the next week, the girl passed her time making plans, and conferring with her dolls. She had nine of them. Seven days after she asked for the louse-skin cloak, her father presented it to her. She thanked him and went back upstairs. Then she dressed herself in her copper dress, her silver dress, and her golden dress, put the louse-skin cloak over all, and sat down with her nine beloved dolls. She dressed them and spoke to them, telling them of her desperation. How she wished that her mother were still alive to help her and care for her. The dolls advised that she must "seek her dead mother in the other world". So, instead of going downstairs to marry her father, she climbed carefully out of her bedroom window and ran away. She walked until she came to the forest, and then she walked until she was in the deepest part of the forest. A river ran near, and the entrance to a large cave loomed ahead. The girl trudged on until she had passed through the cave. Then she walked some more, going downhill all the way. It got darker and darker, and warmer and warmer, and soon she found herself drowsy and exhausted. She slowed, and then stopped, At last, she lay down and fell asleep. When she awoke a gentleman in a black frock coat was standing over her. He dabbed her forehead brusquely with a damp handkerchief, and said, "Get up, Girl in a Louse-Skin Cloak,  and get to work! I have revived you, and in exchange you must keep my house for me." And the girl had no choice but to get up and go. On Sunday, the girl said that she must go to church, but the gentleman forbade her. As soon as she was left alone, she snuck there anyway, wearing her copper dress. The prince himself noticed her, and sat next to her. When the service was over, she fled. The next Sunday she again begged permission to go to church. Again, it was denied. The moment she was left alone she changed into her silver dress, and crept there anyway. The prince beamed with pleasure to see her again, and once more sat down beside her. And again the mysterious girl in the silver gown fled the instant the service was over. For the third Sunday in a row, the girl asked for, and was denied, permission to go to church. So she very quietly slipped into her golden dress and tiptoed off to church. The prince once more engaged her in conversation, and held fast to her hand while the service came to an end. She did not know that he had arranged a trap for her on the steps leading down from the church. At his signal, the "monks pour oil at [the] church entrance". The girl runs, she slips, then slides, then tumbles down the steps, losing a shoe. She flees, but the prince catches hold of the shoe and gets one long, last look at the girl he thinks he loves. He orders a search of every house in the village. None of the girls seem able to wear the shoe. Where can the pretty owner of it be? When all but the last house has been searched, the prince finds his resolve faltering. Can the girl really be in the last house, or will his search turn up empty? With determination, he presses on. And there she is, "asleep on the stove", oblivious to the commotion. He awakens her, and he slips the foot onto her foot! He pulls off the louse-skin cloak to reveal the golden dress. They are married amid much rejoicing. 

From Cox, M. R. (1893/2011) p. 60

Notes: In many countries in Europe, stoves of past times were quite large, ceramic affairs. The fire was kept burning to warm the house, and the spot on the top of the stove was a coveted place of warmth. Many were decorated with tiles or hand painted with fruits or flowers. 

Cinderella #240 Van den Koning en van Jenne Zijn Zoet Liefken (The Story of the King and of Jenny, His True Love".

Deep in the forest, under a mossy bank...

Once upon a time, there was a girl called Sloddeken-vuil. This meant "Little Dirty Slut", and if you think that doesn't sound like a very kind nickname, you are right. It was given to her by her mother and her older sisters, who were not particularly nice people. They made Little Dirty Slut do all of the hard work, One of her chores was to pasture the sheep. Nearly every day Little Dirty Slut tended those sheep, from dawn to dusk. For the most part, she did not mind. The weather always seemed to be fine when  she set out with her flock.  Lest the girl laze the day away dreaming, her mother usually gave her work to carry with her. She always had a tow of flax to spin, and often some embroidery to do as well. One day, when her mother was feeling particularly spiteful, she gave the Dirty Little Slut a "heap of old iron" and told her that if it wasn't polished by nightfall, she would eat no food until the job was done. Little Dirty took one look at the iron, and began to cry. Her mother just laughed, and her sisters actually jumped for joy. Then they left her alone. Dirty sobbed and sobbed until her eyes were red. That's when she heard singing! A band of angels appeared before her and their blinding light polished the old iron clean.  But instead of being pleased when she saw this, Mother was angry. She told Little Dirty Slut that the next day, when she set off with her flock, she would have a new task. A thousand times a thousand kernels of wheat would be scattered among the grass, and if Little Dirty did not gather each and every one, she would not taste food again until she had. So the next morning Dirty got up before dawn, opened the sheep corral, and set off. It was was pretty hard searching for wheat kernels in the predawn light, so she lit a torch. Unfortunately, this only made things worse, and she put it out again, fearing that she would start a forest fire. All day, while the sheep munched grass, Dirty hunted for wheat kernels. By noon, she had found 17. By dusk she had found 438. As night fell, she still only had 512, so she sat down again to cry. That is when the band of angels descends again, turning the darkness into a brilliantly sunny afternoon. Before she could blink, there were two full buckets of wheat kernels before her, and the angels were gone. But instead of being happy, her mother snorted and said, "You could have gathered three bucketfuls." And the next morning, that is what she commanded the Dirty Little Slut to do. As Little Dirty ambled along the road, in no particular hurry to begin her impossible task, she met an old man. He greeted her kindly, and asked whether she might have a bite of bread to spare. Now, Little Dirty Slut never had bread to spare, but she was a gentle hearted girl. The old man had spoken so kindly to her that she without thinking, she drew out the crust of bread her mother had given her for lunch, and gave it to the man. The old one beamed, and drew her "a sheep, which, when tapped, will give her food". So from then on, Little Dirty Slut took out her picture whenever she was hungry, tapped it, and ate to her stomach's content. Life went on in this way for sometime, until, one day, there was news of an exciting event. The prince was hosting a ball, at which he would choose his bride. Of course Little Dirty Slut's mother wouldn't let her go, and of course, her older sisters made her work day and night to sew them new gowns. The day before the ball, as Dirty drove her sheep along the road, she met the same old man as before. Again she gave him her bread, and again, he repaid her kindness by sketching a picture. This one was of a tree. When she tapped it, he promised, "a carriage and eight" would appear! So the next day, when her mother and sisters had left for the ball, Little Dirty took out her picture of a tree and tapped it. Sure enough, a fine carriage and eight horses appeared. So she climbed into the carriage and went to the ball. The prince himself helped her alight, and he danced with her all night. But when the clock began to toll midnight, the girl panicked, and ran away. The king ordered her to halt, and when she would not, gave chase himself. He managed to snatch one of her shoes before she got away, however, and so laid a plan. The very next day he announced that every maiden in the kingdom must come to the palace to try on the shoe. So Little Dirty's mother and sisters join the line. When it is close to their turn, the mother sneaks ahead in line and gets a good look at the shoe. It is tiny, she reports, and the girls will have to trim their feet to fit it. So they take turns with the knife that Mother has so thoughtfully packed. Gritting their teeth against the pain they present themselves to the prince. First one sister and then the other demonstrates that the shoe fits! The prince decides to ask his father which girl he should marry. Before he can summon the King, however, a little bird lands on the windowsill. It sings a cheery tune, then speaks aloud, declaring that there are two bloody liars in the room. So the prince discovers the sisters' trickery, and demands to know if there is not one more sister at home. Of course, there is, and when Little Dirty Slut comes forward, the shoe slides cleanly onto her foot. She and the prince are married at once. 

From Cox, M. R. (1893/2011) p. 

Notes; Again, we find girls willing to cut off their feet for the privelege of being princess. And talk about bitchy sisters! Current mental health practice frowns on nicknames like "Little Dirty Slut" bestowed upon little sisters. 

Cinderella #239 Kari Trestakk (Zealand)

A sparkly gold shoe!

Once upon a time, there was a young girl who was left an orphan. Her mother was dead and her father was dead. At last, her ragged clothing fell off of her. All she could find to dress in was "a wooden petticoat." So, with this garment on, she set out to find a position in the king's castle. Knocking at the back door, Kari Trestakk meets Cook, who is lazy, and looking for a slavey to do the dirty work. So Cooks orders Kari Trestakk to lug the bathwater upstairs to the king. The girl makes so much noise, clattering up the stairs in her wooden petticoat, that the king is startled. He jumps out of the bath, causing much of his heated water to spill out, and hurls insults at Kari Trestakk. Then Cook sends the girl down the "the rivulet", to fetch more water. As she wades into the river to fill her jug, a large fish swims into it. At first, Kari Trestakk thinks that it will be a fine thing to take the fish to Cook. Then she hears a voice! It is the fish, and it says, "Oh, maiden grant me the boon of my life. In exchange  I will give you "a gold dress, a horse, and a golden saddle"." Kari Trestakk accepts this bargain, and releases the fish. She "gets the promised reward", and hides her treasures by the river. The next Sunday, she asks for permission to go to church. Cook says, What do you want with going to church, having nothing but a wooden dress?.'But she gets permission, and then hies to the rivulet where she gets her golden dress and all." She does go to church, and who should sit next to her but the King himself? When he tries to speak to her she calls out," Light before me, behind me, dark. Whither I ride, shall no one mark!" And with that, she disappears. But she loses one of the golden shoes that came with her golden gown, and the King finds  it. The next day, he commands that every girl in the kingdom shall try on the shoe. Although many try, and some come close, no one can fit the shoe on her foot. One young lady even "cuts her heel and toe and squeezes her foot into it. But a small bird in a tree warbles,"Cut off your heel, cut off your toe. The gold shoe fits a girl I know." Then the King knows that the bloody-footed girl is not his true bride. That is when Kari Trestakk steps forward, wearing the other shoe. They are married with great ceremony. 

From Cox, M.R. (1893/2011) p. 326

Notes: This seems to be a story with strong parallels to the one we typically think of  as "Cinderella", if Grimm is your touchpoint. It has the lost shoe, the golden slipper, the cutting off heel and toe, and the bird as give-away. However, my favorite part is the startled King jumping at the sound of the wooden petticoat in the hall! Talk about PTSD. 

Cinderella #238 A Coach for Cinderella (1936) Vintage Chevrolet Film

Cinderella #237 Cindy Goes to Kindergarden

Note: For kids ages 4-6

Two princesses by Kiana, age 5

Once upon a time,there was a girl named Cinderella.She was five years old, and went to Happy Times Preschool. She lived with her dad and stepmom. She had two stepsisters, who were both older than she was. She loved her dad and stepmom very much, but she did not like her big stepsisters. They were always so mean to her! Whenever they all made snacks in the kitchen, they left Cinderella to clean up the mess. When they had a game of hide and seek in the living room, and took all of the cushions off the sofa and turned all of the chairs upside down, they made Cinderella clean it up. And when they all went into the kitchen to make snacks, and used every knife and spoon and bowl they could find to make their super-delicious Carrot Lemonade and Cheese-and-Veggie sandwiches, they left all the dirty dishes for her to wash. That wasn't fair and Cindy knew it. But when she complained to her father, he just said,"Go and talk to your sisters about it."  So Cinderella did, but they just stuck their tongues out at her, called her a kindergarden-baby and ran away. Then Cinderella started to cry because she knew that soon she could not go back to Happy Times Preschool. She was going to have to go to kindergarden, and she was not at all sure that she was going to like it. Why did she have to have a new teacher? She liked old Mrs. Alice just fine. She thought about Mrs. Alice had told the children that soon they would "make new friends, but keep the old" and this made her cry even harder. That's when she heard a voice! It was a message coming from her dad's phone, and this is what it said: Good morning! This is Mrs. Marshmallow, Cinderella's new kindergarden teacher. Please remember that the first day of kindergarden is tomorrow! Cinderella, we are looking forward to meeting you!". Now Cinderella went and woke up her dad. When he had heard the message he said, "Let's go shopping today for new school things for you." When her stepsisters heard that there was going to be a shopping trip, they wanted to come too. "Buy me some cool new clothes!" said the oldest. "And buy me some sparkly earrings!" said the second oldest. But Cinderella's dad said, "No, girls. You already have everything you need. I'm just going to take Cinderella, because the first day of kindergarden is very important, and I want her to be ready." Then Cinderella got in the car with her dad. First they drove to the clothes store, and chose two new pairs of jeans. Cinderella picked out a t-shirt with a picture of a monster, and an orange hoodie with flowers embroidered on it to go with them.  Then her dad took her to the art store and let her choose a pad of paper and something to draw with. She picked a 48-pack of crayons, the kind that has a crayon sharpener on the back. Then they went to the shoe store and got her new shoes. Although they were pink and sparkly, they had rubber soles, and were good to run in. They felt good on her feet, and she could put them on herself. Her dad smiled and said,"Looks like those shoes are a good fit, Cinderella!". That night before bed, Cinderella drew a picture of herself on her first day of kindergarden. She was wearing her beautiful orange hoodie and pink sparkly shoes.  Then she went to bed. That night, she dreamed that she was in kindergarden. She had to go to the bathroom, but she didn't know where it was. She was hungry, but she could not find her lunch. She was lonely, and missed her friends from Happy Times Preschool. Suddenly, she heard a voice! It came from a little boy who was wearing a an orange hoodie with animals and their footprints embroidered all over it. "Hi!" the boy said. "Do you want to play with me?" Then Cinderella heard another voice. It was her stepmom, calling,"Cinderella! Wake up! It's time to go to kindergarden." So Cinderella jumped out of bed, got dressed, ate her breakfast, and got in the car. When they got to her new school, her stepmom held her hand and they went inside. Cinderella could hear Mrs. Marshmallow's voice, saying,"Welcome to kindergarden!". Then she saw a little boy smiling at her. He was wearing an orange hoodie with animals and their footprints embroidered all over it. He smiled at her and said,"Do you want to play with me?" Cinderella said she did, so she told her stepmom goodbye. And Cinderella and the little boy with animal prints played happily together for the whole day. The end. 

Notes: This story is for Sarah, Patrick, Cal, and all the other worried 5 year olds out there who are fretting over the mysteries of kindergarden. Have a great first day of school, everyone! 

Cinderella #236 Lita Kkersti (Little Kristina)

Illustration by
De Angeli, M.

Once upon a time, there lived a little girl whose mother had died, and father remarried. The second wife was a cruel one, and selfish enough to withhold food from her stepdaughter in favor of her own born child. At last, the orphaned girl was near to starving to death. She sat crying one day, shivering with the cold, upon her mother's grave. There she prayed and sobbed, pouring out her heart's desire to her mother's departed soul. All of a sudden, a little bird perched in front of her, upon a slender branch. Then Kristina heard her mother's voice! It told her to break off the branch, for it was a magic wand. If she was hungry, she should use one end of the wand to touch the horns of father's ox. This would produce food. Using the other end of the wand to touch the horns would cause fresh water to appear. So Kristina followed these directions, and in this way, she lived. Years passed and one day, as she was pasturing the ox, she saw a hill which had never been there before. She "walked thrice around' it saying,'White before me, black behind me!' and enters it." And deep under the hillside, Kristina finds victuals and fine wines. After she has eaten and drunk, she explores the cavern more fully. That is when she finds a white dress, hanging on the gate near a white horse. A fine carriage of porcelain is nearby. She continues walking and encounters another horse, this one with coat of shining silver, and a silver carriage nearby. Inside is a dress of threaded silver. She keeps walking and soon finds the most magnificent horse of all, with coat of glowing red-gold. A golden carriage is parked nearby. A dress of pure beaten gold hangs stiffly in the window. The following Sunday, as soon as Kristina's stepmother and stepsister have left for church, she rushes to her underground stable. There she changes into the white dress, hitches her white horse to her white carriage, and drives to church. Just as the service is ending, her stepmother notices the mysterious maiden in white. Kristina is so frightened and being recognized that she runs, losing a glove. The prince, who has been watching the whole time, picks this up. The next Sunday, Kristina prepares for church by dressing in her silver gown. When she arrives, driving her silver steed from her shining silver carriage, the prince helps her alight. But just as the service ends, she again sees her stepmother, gazing at her suspiciously. She flees, this time leaving behind a silver shoe. The prince gathers this up, and gazes thoughtfully after the silver carriage. The third Sunday, Kristina decides to go for the gold. She dons her golden dress and slippers, and adorns herself with several golden rings. Then she hitches her gold colored horse to her gold carriage, and away she goes. The sunlight reflected from her carriage dazzles everyone's eyes when she arrives at church. Now the prince escorts her to a seat and watches her closely throughout the service. As it ends, Kristina tries to run away, but the prince holds her tightly by the hand. There is a tussle, and the prince comes away with one of her rings. When, on the following Sunday, the mysterious lady with the metallic gowns does not come, the prince is desolate. He sends his retinue out looking the maiden who fits the glove, the shoe, and the ring. Though her stepsister tries and tries, she is unable to wear the items. At last, Kristina comes forth. She dons the glove and produces its mate. She dons the shoe and produces the other. Then she slips the ring onto her finger, and that is when the prince recognizes her as the well dressed lady at church. They are married at once. 

From Cox, M. R. (1893/2011) p.325

Notes: This story is identified as being "a fragment written down by J. Môe".  I ponder the significance of walking three times round the hill, and of the subterranean treasures. 

Cinderella #235 More Riddles

A little dog in the garden.

Q: Everyone knows that Prince Jasper found Cinderella because she fit the shoe. But Jasper had a twin brother, Prince Jacob, who is not so famous. At the same ball that Jasper got lucky at, Jacob too met a fine girl. Prince Jacob loved to cook, and the night of the ball, he was trying out a new recipe, when a girl he had never seen before wandered into the kitchen. She tasted the dish he was preparing, and helped him season it in the most delicious manner. Suddenly, the clock struck twelve, and the mysterious maiden ran away. Jacob sent a royal proclamation out the next day, looking for a certain girl. What did the proclamation say?

A: That he was looking for the girl who bit the stew.

Q:  We all know the story of the girl who swept the cinders. She earned a nickname that described her work. Few realize that she had a twin sister, whose job it was to gather the kindling and firewood for the cruel stepmother's hearth. What was her name?

A: Tinderella

Q: What do you get when you cross a girl who sweeps ashes and a banana?

A: Cinderyella

Q: What was the name of the pot-smoking chimney sweep?

A: Cindermella

Q: Why did Cinderella offer to carry the King's Christmas pie across the river?

A: Because she wanted to ferry the royal mince. 

Notes: These riddles were written by me, myself, and I, Rachel Hope Crossman.

Cinderella #234 The Clever Farmer's Daughter (Grimm)

This girl is in Greece, where the donkey
could be seen as something akin to
a mountain bike. That brays. 

Once upon a time, there lived "a poor farmer" with an only child. She was a girl, and a very clever one. The king took pity on this father and his motherless child,and gave them a small piece of land for a garden. When they harvested, they were quite surprised to find that "a mortar of pure gold" was visible among the wheat stubble. The man declared that he would carry it to the king, but his daughter said,"Father, if we give the mortar without the pestle, then we'll have to find the pestle as well. I think we'd be better off if we kept quiet about the whole thing." But her father insisted. Sure enough, not sooner did the king lay eyes on the golden mortar, he demanded the golden pestle that must go with it. And when the poor farmer insisted that there was no pestle, "he was thrown into prison, where he was to stay until he produced the pestle."One day, some months later, the king overheard his prisoner sigh and say,"Oh, if only I had listened to my daughter!" He questioned the man, who told him that his daughter had told him "not to bring you the mortar; otherwise, you'd want to have the pestle as well". Then the king said,"If you have such a clever daughter, I want to see her." So the farmer sent for his daughter, and she had an audience with the king. He told her that if she could solve a certain riddle, he would marry her. The riddle was this: How could the farm girl appear before the king "Not undressed, nor naked, not on horse, nor by carriage, not on the road, nor off it".  So the girl said that she would try to do this. Then she went home and "got undressed so that she was completely naked, so that she was not dressed." Then she wrapped herself up in giant, twine fish net. Now she was not naked. Then "she took some money, leased a donkey, and tied the fishnet to its tail". It dragged along the road to the palace in a zigzag manner, and she managed to stay balance on her big toe. She wasn't on the road exactly, but she certainly wasn't off it. "Thus, when she appeared before the king this way, he said she had solved the riddle," and that he would marry her. So he did, and let her father out of jail. Some years later, a strange thing happened in front of the king's castle. A bunch of farmers were on their way home from market, when one of their mares began to foal. The odd thing was that, as soon as the little horse stood up, it ran over to a pair of oxen and began to suckle. When the man who owned the oxen saw this, he said that it was a miracle! His ox had delivered a foal! But the owner of the mare, who had witnessed the birth, claimed the little foal as his property. The king was called out to settle the argument, and he "declared that, wherever the foal had laid itself down, there it should stay." But the owner of the mare was not ready to accept the loss of the foal so easily. He "had heard that the queen came from a farmer's family", so he thought she might have a more reasonable view of the situation. He went to her, and begged for help. She agreed, on condition that he not reveal her hand in the plot. This promise he solemnly made, and she instructed him carefully. Then the farmer went back to the road before the palace.  When he got there, he sat down and took out a fishing pole and big net. These he cast to the dust, and sat calmly waiting. Eventually,the king's curiosity got the better of him,  and he sent a messenger over to ask "the foolish man what he was doing." The farmer said,"If two oxen can manage to give birth to a foal, then I can manage to catch a fish on dry land." When the king heard that he was furious. He recognized the clever answer as one made up by his wife, the queen. So he beat the farmer until he broke his promise, and admitted that he had received advice from the queen. Now the king told his wife,"Go back to the farmhouse, where you belong." As a favor, he said she could take the one thing that she held dearest in the palace with her, whatever it may be. So the queen-no-more answered,"Very well, dear husband. Your wish is my command." She called for wine, which she slipped a sleeping potion into. She offered the goblet to her husband, who drank deeply in toast to her. Then he fell into a deep, deep sleep. When he awoke, he found himself in a strange bed. He called for his servants, but none came. That's when the farmer's daughter came to his side. She told him that, of all of the things in the castle, she held him dearest of all. So "he took her back with him to the royal castle, and married her again. And I am sure that they are still living together, even today." 

From The Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm (Zipes, 2003) p. 94

Notes: I love the  triple-axle reversal of fortune here, as the girl goes from poor farmer's daughter to queen, to rejected bride, and back to queen again. Also, gotta love the donkey! I was once, at the age of 7, set upon the back of a donkey by my grandfather. He had paid a man several drachmaas for this privelege. (We were somewhere in the countryside near Athens, Greece.) The donkey made a run for it, and I held on for dear life as we traversed bramble bushes and a scrubby olive orchard. Some decades have passed, but the memory is still vivid. At least I was not wrapped in a fishnet, balancing on one toe. 

Cinderella #233 Preschool Cinderella and Mean Mr. Teacher Man (Crossman, R.H., 2011)

Picture by
the other Emily, age 4. 

Note: This story is not meant to be read to preschoolers. Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Cinderella. Her mommy was dead and her daddy was dopey. He got married again and brought home a new mommy for Cinderella. But she was mean mommy! Every morning, little Cindy had to sweep the ashes from the hearth, scrub the kitchen floor and start the washing machine. Then her bad step-mommy took her to preschool, where she had to stay for the whole day. Her dopey daddy did not even have a job and he still made Cindy go to preschool every day. And it was not the nice kind of preschool, where you get to play with playdo and baby dolls and ride trikes and paint pictures. It was the yucky kind, with teachers who were even meaner than step-mommy. Especially Mr. Teacher Man. Oh, was he mean! Every day he cooked lunch for the children. This might sound like a nice thing to do, but when you are a terrible cook, and a cheap-skate to boot, then it is not nice to cook for people. To make it worse, he only cooked the kind of food that he liked, never the kind the children like. His favorite dish was called Spicy Rice. All the children hated it! For one thing, he used white rice, when everyone knows that the brown kind has more vitamins. Didn't Mr. Teacher Man want the children to be healthy? Well, he said he did, but what he wanted more was to have lots of money. And the more he spent on lunch, the less he had to jingle in his pockets. So he made Spicy Rice every day and then he made everyone eat it. The kids who refused were sent down to Baby Town, where Mr. Teacher Man squeezed their noses until they opened their mouths. Then he shoveled the food in, fast, so that they could not spit it out. The children did not like this. Mr. Teacher Man said that he would give them a choice: they could have Spicy Rice shoveled down their throats or they could go hungry. That was a hard choice for a little kid to make, but that's what they had to do. Cinderella said it was an easy choice: go hungry. Mr. Teacher Man could never make her eat, even if she got dead from never eating. That is what she told him. When Cinderella got home from preschool each evening, Mean Step Mommy and Daddy went into their office and closed the door. It was Cinderella's job to cook dinner. This is not really an appropriate activity for a preschool aged child, but they told Cinderella that she could have a choice: cook dinner or go hungry. Since she chose go hungry every day at lunch time, she chose to cook dinner every night at dinner time. She really did not want to get dead no matter what she said to Mr. Teacher Man, so she had learned how to make meals. She could open the refrigerator quite easily, now that she was almost four years old. It was full of foods of all colors, and Cinderella enjoyed picking out different shades to cook. She could not read, of course, so she had to taste the food to learn what it was. Her favorite dish was called Ants on a Log. She had seen pictures of this recipe at preschool, and memorized it: take one stick celery, 4 tablespoons peanut butter, and twelve raisins. Spread the peanut butter on the celery stick. Stick the raisins in a line down the middle. Cinderella's parents had learned to like the dish too. It happened one day that while Cinderella was spreading peanut butter on the celery sticks, Mean Step Mommy received a text message. Cinderella knew this because Mommy had left her iphone on the kitchen counter and it made that funny sound that meant there might be an interesting picture to look at or a note from one of Mean Step Mommy's friends. Cindy knew which buttons to push to see the message. She had seen Mommy do it so many, many times. Now she touched the screen and saw a funny man talking. He was wearing a shiny golden crown and telling Step Mommy something about a ball. Now Cinderella loved balls, but she never got the chance to play at preschool. There had been only one ball and when one of the big girls kicked it over the fence Mr. Teacher Man said, "Bye bye, ball!". So now they had none. Cindy watched the funny man, then pressed the button and watched him again. Then she carefully pressed twelve raisins down each celery stick, laid two of them on a plate, grabbed the third, and walked out the front door. She was going to play with balls! She hoped that they would be the big, bouncy red kind, but she would not mind if they were only the fuzzy green kind she had seen people throwing at dogs. When Cindy got to the house she had seen in the video, everyone turned and stared at her, like they had never seen a four year old child carrying a half-eaten celery stick with peanut butter and raisins on it before. Then they all started shouting at her, and one lady grabbed her, hard, by the arm. That's when Cinderella heard a voice. It said, "Stop! Stop! Stop!" about a hundred times in a row. And then things happened very fast. A small boy with red hair ran, super-hecka-fast over to the lady who had grabbed the kid with the sticky food. He pulled on the lady's dress and said,"Let go let go let go let go!". Cinderella was really impressed with how well the boy used his words. The lady let go of her arm and Cinderella gave the boy with the red hair a big kiss, right on the mouth. Then the little boy punched Cinderella, right in the nose! So she ran away. But when she ran, she lost one of her little pink Crocs. She did not care! She was getting out of there, even though she had not had a turn yet to play with the balls. She had not run very far when the boy caught up with her. He was running super-hecka-fast. When he was next to Cinderella she asked him, "Why did you punch me right in the nose?" and the boy said, "Sorry for punching you right in the nose. Can I have some of your Ants on a Log?". Cinderella said, "Sure!" and gave him six raisins. The boy was really impressed with how well Cinderella shared. "Do you want to come to my house and play with me?" he asked the sticky girl. Then he threw her little pink Croc at her and ran away. Cinderella liked this boy. She picked up her Croc and carried it back to the boy's house. They went into the back yard and there Cinderella saw lots and lots of little children, all bouncing balls and kicking balls and throwing balls. Everyone was laughing and a nice lady was passing out popsicles. She gave one to Cinderella and said, "I am your fairy preschool teacher. Would you like to stay here and do play do and ride bikes and  play ball and eat popsicles with us?" Cinderella nodded. She never went home again, and Mean Step Mommy and Dopey Daddy didn't even miss her.  Cinderella certainly did not miss them, and they died of the  flu the next winter. Nobody came to their funeral.  Mr. Teacher Man finally got busted by Community Care Licensing. His preschool was shut down and he was put in jail and given a choice: go hungry or have Spicy Rice shoveled into his mouth while the Big Policeman squeezed his nose. But Cinderella and the little boy became best friends and lived happily ever after.

Notes: Take it from this preschool teacher: call licensing and check out the school's history of complaints before leaving your kid there. Yeah, yeah, I know. Your school is  the greatest and the director is great with kids. Tell me about it. Then make that call. 

Cinderella #232 Rosemary (Italo Calvino)

Woodcut reproductions from
Proverbi milanesi,
Aldo Marello-Gunti,
Ed. S.p.A. Milan

Once upon a time, in Spain, there lived a king and queen. Being royal, however, does not guarantee happiness, and these two grieved for the lack of a child. One day the queen was walking in her herb garden when she saw a large rosemary bush, with many little seedlings sprouting from it. She exclaimed,"Just look at that! A mere rosemary bush has all these children, while I am a queen and childless!" And soon thereafter, she discovered herself to be with child. But when she delivered, it was not an infant but a tender rosemary bush. She planted it "in an exquisite pot, and watered it with milk". Some time passed, and one day, their nephew came to visit. He "was the king of Spain", and when he asked his aunt the queen what plant grew in the pot, she said,"Royal nephew, that is my daughter, and I water her four times a day with milk." And the nephew watched the queen as she tenderly cared for the little bush, and soon he fell in love with it. Then "he took it, pot and all, and carried it aboard his yacht, purchased a nanny goat for milk, and ordered the anchors raised. When he reached Spain, he ordered the pot carried ashore, and the bush planted in his private garden. Now, this young king loved to play the flute, and each morning he took his instrument out to the rosemary bush to play. The first time he had done this he was amazed when "a comely maiden with long hair emerged from the rosemary foliage and began dancing beside him". Each day he milked the nanny goat and dribbled  the milk onto the plant, and the girl grew more lovely each day. Soon he spent much of his time in the garden with his flute, so much time that his sisters became suspicious. It happened that the king was summoned to war. Now he instructed his gardener to milk the goat and feed the rosemary with it, four times a day. He also said that "if he found the plant withered upon his return, the gardener would be beheaded." Then he told his rosemary girl to stay in the bush until he came back. He would signal her with three notes of the flute. As soon as he left, all three of his sisters rushed into his private garden to see what fascinated their brother so. And that is when they found the flute. The first girl grabbed it and blew a note upon it. Then she handed it to her sister, who blew  a second note. When the third sister had taken her turn, and sounded a note on the flute, the girl jumped out of the rosemary bush. Then "they caught hold of the maiden and beat her unmercifully". They shoved her back into the plant and fled. The next day, the gardener came to milk the nanny goat and feed the rosemary, and was horrified to discover the rosemary bush half-wilted. Fearing his punishment, he fled, deep into the woods. He trudged mile upon mile, and, when he could no longer put one foot before the other, he climbed a tree. But "a dragon-man and a dragon-woman had agreed to meet" in that very spot, and he was in a position to overhear their conversation. Said the dragon-woman to the dragon-man,"What's new?". He told her the tidings of the king's withered rosemary bush. The dragon woman wanted to know how the misfortune had occurred. Now the dragon-man told her,"Well, the king went off to war, the sisters started playing his flute, and out of the rosemary came the enchanted girl. The sisters all but killed her with their blows. The bush is withering away." And when the dragon-woman asked if there wasn't a cure for it, he said that there was, though a gruesome one. It required parts of their own bodies. In particular, blood from the dragon-man's windpipe, and "the fat from the nape of your neck." If one boiled those things together and anointed the bush, the girl would recover. The bush, however, would die. Well, you may be sure that the moment the dragons were snoring soundly, the gardener jumped down,"ripped a knotty branch from the tree...and dealing two hearty blows, sent them both to kinddom-come". Then he bled the dragon-man's windpipe, and scraped fat from the nape of the dragon-woman's neck. He ran home, asked his wife to boil those things, and made a salve. Then he rushed to the garden and rubbed every twig of the bush. Sure enough, by morning, the girl was better and the bush was dead. He tucked the girl into bed and "served her a bowl of tasty hot broth".  The next day, the king came back. The first thing he did when he got home to his castle was to rush over to the rosemary plant. But no matter how many times he blew three notes, no girl came out of it. He could see that the bush was dead. Then he drew his sword and rushed to find the gardener. When he did, it was all the poor man could do to stay the king's blows long enough to tell him the story of the dragon's blood and fat, and the salve made from it to cure the rosemary girl after the king's own sisters had beaten her. And when the king had seen the maiden with his own eyes, and heard the tale from her own lips, "he decided to marry her, and wrote his uncle the king that the rosemary plant he stole had become a young lady". He was going to marry her, and the uncle and aunt were cordially invited to the wedding. So the came at once, and many cannons were fired in honor of the wedding. "All of Spain rejoiced and feasted."

From Calivino, I. Italian Folktales Selected and Retold (p. 161)

Notes: I love the dragon man and dragon woman, giving us both Anima and Animus in ancient form. The dragon, related to the lizard, is an ancient beast. Anthony Stevens says both are representations of a most elemental part of the psyche. Ariadne's Clue: A Guide to the Symbols of Humankind (Mythos: The Princeton/Bollingen Series in World Mythology)