Cinderella #332 Cinderella's Bum (Allan, N.)
Once upon a time, in England, there was a girl whose older sister was "always worried about her bum." She thought that it was much too large. This was such a concern to her that she refused to go in swimming. How could she, when she could not squeeze her huge butt into her swimsuit? However, her little sister thought it was "lovely". This was not enough to convince the young lady to stop worrying, so her little sister shared some sage advice. Other body parts "are all shapes and sizes", including noses, mouths, and feet, and "bums are all shapes and sizes too." The big ones can be quite useful, says Little Sister. For example, "Santa has a big bum" which comes in handy for "crash landings or unexpected trouble". Another famously big-bottomed personage was Queen Victoria, who after all, "ruled England for sixty years so she needed it to sit on the throne all that time." Then there was Houdini's tiny little butt, which helped propel him to fame. After all, he would never have been able to pull off his escapes with a big bum. Buffalo Bill had a really "big bum, to soften the bumpy ride."In fact, says Little Sister, thinking of her own riding lessons, "Sometimes I wish I had a bigger bottom too." Bum size does not correspond to the sizes of other body parts, she goes on to explain. For example, "Cinderella had small feet but a big bum. The ugly sisters had big feet but small bums." It is a good thing, ponders this small girl aloud, that "Cinderella lost her shoe at the ball, and not her knickers." In the end, Big Sister discovers that she has accidentally been trying to put Little Sister's suit on, and so
makes peace with her bottom. Then she puts on her own swimsuit, and jumps into the waves with joy.
From: Cinderella's Bum (and other bottoms) by Nicholas Allan (2002) Great Britain: Hutchinson